It has been a heavy couple of weeks, no? The emotions I am picking up from the collective consciousness are primarily fear and anger. Fear and anger. Fear and anger. Fear and anger.
If I were a creepy evil Sith lord, I would definitely be cackling with glee, shouting:
If I were a wise green Jim Henson puppet voiced by Miss Piggy, I would be saying:
We all know this. And we all find ourselves, at times, forgetting that we know this… as our fight or flight systems activate, and primal urges housed in the animal brain take over our minds and bodies. Or, in yogic terms, we start operating from an overactive first chakra.
Just last week I found myself doing this very thing. A traumatic experience seriously triggered me (it was completely unrelated to the inauguration of Donald Trump, by the way). My body-mind-spirit dove into a crazy-messy PTSD panic. I hadn’t felt darkness that intense for years. Restless, afraid, angry, resentful, defensive, stuck, unstable. It was painful on every level. As I stewed in the juices of my bitter and angry thoughts, I came upon these wise words (shared by a friend):
A satanic deception closes your mind, hardens your heart, and tightens your fists in a fear–filled narcissism masquerading as truth. If your religion or philosophy forbids certain questions, shuns certain people, and locks you into an ‘us against them’ worldview, it is, metaphorically speaking, satanic.” -Rabbi Rami Shapiro
The only way I was able to pull out of the vortex of misery I found myself in last week was to tap into the power of Christ’s Atonement through consciously and vocally releasing the negative emotions:
I release anger. I release resentment. I release feeling traumatized. And so forth.
And to consciously and vocally declare what I would At-One with, what I would be and feel instead:
I Am full of love. I Am full of forgiveness. I Am full of peace. And so forth.
It worked instantly. The weight lifted. My soul was buoyant once more. Throughout the following days I had to continually remove residual dark thoughts and feelings, but gradually all traces of anger and bitterness were gone. In their place there was only love.
In every moment of our existence, we are choosing what we will At-One with. It is easy to At-One with anger. Anger is intensely contagious. When we operate from a place of anger, we may feel powerful, but at what cost? Our ill feelings toward someone else don’t necessarily hurt the one we are focusing them upon, who may or may not be aware of them. But they are 100% always guaranteed to hurt us, whether we realize we’re being poisoned or not. They will hurt us. When those negative feelings remain stuck for long periods of time, they can hurt us severely and sometimes fatally.
Several years ago, I was talking to my friend/co-author Felice about what power really is. She said, “Have you read The Great Divorce, by C.S. Lewis?” I happened to have it on my bookshelf (purchased years ago for a book club but never finished). The Great Divorce is C.S. Lewis’s brief fictional journey from hell to heaven. Felice described to me a part of the book that I had soon read multiple times and often return to in my mind. I’ll paste a condensed excerpt here:
First came bright Spirits . . . who danced and scattered flowers. Then, on the left and right, at each side of the forest avenue, came youthful shapes, boys upon one hand, and girls upon the other. . . . Between them went musicians: and after these a lady in whose honour all this was being done. . . . It must have been the almost visible penumbra of her courtesy and joy which produces in my memory the illusion of a great and shining train that followed her across the happy grass. . . . Only partly do I remember the unbearable beauty of her face.
“Is it?… is it?” I whispered to my guide.
“Not at all,” said he. “It’s someone ye’ll never have heard of. Her name on earth was Sarah Smith and she lived at Golders Green.”
“She seems to be . . . well, a person of particular importance?”
“Aye. She is one of the great ones. Ye have heard that fame in this country and fame on Earth are two quite different things.” . . .
“And who are all these young men and women on each side?”
“They are her sons and daughters.”
“She must have had a very large family, Sir.”
“Every young man or boy that met her became her son – even if it was only the boy that brought the meat to her back door. Every girl that met her was her daughter. . . . Her motherhood was of a different kind. Those on whom it fell went back to their natural parents loving them more. . . .“
“And how… but hullo! What are all these animals? A cat—two cats—dozens of cats. And all those dogs… why, I can’t count them. And the birds. And the horses.”
“They are her beasts.”
“Did she keep a sort of zoo? I mean, this is a bit too much.”
“Every beast and bird that came near her had its place in her love. In her they became themselves. The abundance of life she has in Christ from the Father flows over into them.”
I looked at my Teacher in amazement.
“Yes,” he said. “It is like when you throw a stone into a pool, and the concentric waves spread out further and further. Who knows where it will end? Redeemed humanity is still young, it has hardly come to its full strength. But already there is joy enough in the little finger of a great saint such as yonder lady to waken all the dead things of the universe into life.” (p. 117-120)
Every day for the past week+ I have had to consciously and deliberately work on choosing to At-One with LOVE. When anger, frustration, and criticism have filled my facebook feed, I have had to consciously choose not to At-One with it. What do we want to amplify? I choose to amplify love. I choose to amplify hope. I want to waken all the dead things of the universe into life.